A month has passed, and today I decided to share this experience as a warning to everyone: learn from my mistakes and do not gamble!
On June 2, a few days after the S1 season of Backpack ended, I had $135,000 in cash and suddenly felt aimless. Since Backpack couldn't do hedging trades, I turned to the Lighter platform to try short-term trading, hoping to increase my funds before the S2 season began.
So I started contract trading, increasing my position from small to large, where a $1 million position fluctuating by 1% would result in a $10,000 gain or loss, which was extremely thrilling.
🔸 On the first day of entering the market, I lost $25,000 that night, reducing my capital to $110,000. I told myself to operate steadily the next day, avoiding high-frequency trading, planning to earn $5,000 a day to recover my losses within a week.
🔹 The next day, I indeed made over $4,000 in profit, feeling secretly pleased that as long as I persisted for a week, I could break even, and I was determined to quit gambling afterward.
🔸 On the morning of the third day, eager to recover my losses, I opened a position in ETH before 8 AM and got stuck. I spent the whole day staring at the screen in agony, sweating profusely, as my stop-loss point approached. In the evening, the stop-loss was triggered, and I lost another $25,000. At that moment, I felt a sense of relief, like a death row inmate letting go of their last hope.
🔹 On the fourth day, only $95,000 remained, and I was mentally and physically exhausted but still wanted to recover my losses. I missed a short-selling opportunity at noon, misjudged a rebound to go long at 2 PM, and was stopped out at 5 PM, losing $10,000, bringing my balance down to $85,000. In a last-ditch effort, at 6 PM, I chased a short position in ETH on my phone without setting a stop-loss, only to short at the lowest point. On the way home, as the price rebounded, I sweated and held on, fantasizing that a 7% drop that night would allow me to break even.
At 8:30 PM, I pretended to watch TV but checked the price on my phone every minute. Around 9 PM, ETH rebounded nearly $30, and the day's losses were massive, leading to a mental breakdown. I rushed back to my bedroom to try to close my position, but Lighter indicated that my region was restricted. I frantically switched VPN nodes and finally closed the unhedged short position. After closing, I felt a huge relief—losing over 500,000 RMB in just a few days. I collapsed on my bed and fell into a deep sleep before 10 PM.
🔸 On the fifth day at 7 AM, I habitually checked the price, and ETH plummeted 7.6% (later learned it was due to a conflict between Musk and Trump). If I hadn't closed my position, I would have indeed broken even as I had fantasized the day before. But life has no ifs; I could only face reality.
This is my experience from the first week of June. For the next 7-8 days, I was depressed and lost my appetite, eating only a couple of bites of vegetables at each meal, and my mental state completely collapsed. Looking back, I feel deeply that fate plays tricks on people. Now, seeing candlestick charts makes me physically nauseous.
Life cannot start over. If asked what I gained? Lighter awarded me 310 points that week, which is my highest record. But I am grateful for this lesson: now, if my position is unhedged, I instinctively feel nauseous, and I have become insulated from contracts—I have quit gambling.
✅ People live because of hope.
Thanks to my psychological mentor @Metabape and my wise brother @dominolu for helping me out of the shadows. Life is long, I still have capital and @Backpack_CN points, and I can still earn back through airdrops. As long as I am alive, there is hope. Lessons bring growth.
I will strive to achieve financial freedom in the next cycle! Let's encourage each other, brothers! No gambling, no turning back!
Go for it!
from @小熊饼干.eth
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